This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
