Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
