I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
