i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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