Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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