we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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