my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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