Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
