i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
