38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
