Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
