wrigley field is MILF paradise
are you so shy because you have an std?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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