i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
3pm strippers are depressing
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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