Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
