sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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