was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
