woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
