let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Acid is not a monday night drug
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
