You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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