Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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