Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
