idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
