Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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