Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
