I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
