If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
