Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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