I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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