Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I didn't notice because vodka
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
