Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
