This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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