So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
