im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
