nut hugger
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
