I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
