I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize