Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My penis needs a shock collar
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
