I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize