Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
whose parrot is this?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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