i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
