This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
