I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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