Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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