wat bout pragnant strippers??
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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