Ambien. No doubt about it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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