Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
