there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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