dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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