Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COCAINE IS GR8
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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