Your dad touched me again.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
