How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
