We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize