go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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