this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
