she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize