everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
