omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he thought i was a dude.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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