how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
