i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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