I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
