Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
