what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And then my night got REAL pukey
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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