He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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