Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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