Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
