I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
