he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
