you guys were way drunker than both of me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
