Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
