Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
