I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
