i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
