Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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