I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize